that's it?

So, I'm done. I defended. Ph.D. Now what? Call the spouse. Done. Call the relatives. Done. It's really a let-down. So few people get this. Frustrating to say the least. Oh-well. Maybe I won't care after I drown down a few drinks..... congrats, I'm a Dr.

Return to Ghetto School

I got a last minute call from Ghetto school. They need me. Apparently some other adjunct got switched around at another school and now can't teach. Whatever. I asked about the class - let me at first know what I'm getting into... 7 students; last time the course is to be taught; could care less what I do. Hmm. Okay. Let me sell more of my soul to the devil for a bit more cash.

He sends me the syllabus. At this point, I've never taught this class, it's been taught by this other guy for a while, I'll just keep as is. I open the syllabus basically to change dates and semester and I'm reading it...um, WTF?!?! Seriously, there's talk of homework problems for one class then back talking about case studies for this class. It appears that he taught finance first and didn't change the syllabus well. And how long has it been like this??? So I delete, and delete. Fix this, fix that. Whatever... I'm still going to use it.

I get an email telling me I can come pick up the book Wednesday (class starts Thurs). I go Wednesday and apparently the other guy had lost the book. (Really...cause I'm thinking I can find it on ebay or Craigslist if I look....oh, let's not beat around the bush - this is where adjunct whores make extra cash flow - selling freebie textbooks). So, literally I go to class Thursday with nothing but a half-ass syllabus and an activity to sort of start discussions.

I arrive to class. He's there - literally his office is just outside my door. Now, I know he's teaching adjunct at the community college where I teach...which starts at 6:30, which means you need to be there by 6:00. So I ask....he said he told his class not to show up until after 7 that night!!! REALLY?? This after we had our faculty convocation where they came down on adjuncts to ensure we hold our office hours and to hold classes for the full length of time?!?! Oh, wait, he didn't come to faculty convocation.....my bad... Yeah, there's a reason he's not teaching in my dept anymore. Apparently the English dept is still desperate, though.

So he hangs around and students are coming in. Odd, but okay...you can stand around and chat with me. I mean, we are in an annex building, so I think he just likes having people to talk to - not sure. Anyway, students are talking about books, etc. One says to the guy that she's got the old edition and the guy says that's fine, Mrs X will make it work. Oh, okay, I will. Turns out that the edition is like #2 out of #18. And other students have books from different authors/publishers. Whatever. Really? One person had the right book. Then another person tells him that she has to leave an hour early every week and if it's okay. Um, hello - I'm right here. He says oh, it's fine... He tells me again - in front of these few students - that this is the last time this class is being taught and they just need these credits to get their bachelors degree...blah, blah... the new curriculum doesn't have this course, don't care what you do, just finish this out....blah, blah.

I wait, I wait. 7 students? I have 5. I wait. People are eating chicken from down the hall. (Apparently this school has food ALL THE TIME. Add in the free backpacks and daycare, it freaks me out. Explains why the tuition is through the roof!!). We're now past the 15 late mark (6:45), he pops his head in one last time to tell me I should just let everyone go early since another girl has to leave early too. Her story is that it was just that night, but I'm thinking the students will rotate this leaving early thing. Anyway, the guy finally leaves for his 7 pm class down the road...good luck getting there in 15 minutes. Whatever. I'm thinking about ratting him out.

I ask the students if they know of the other students in class that aren't there. Yep. So and so comes to class about an hour late each week. So and so never comes the first day since you never do nothing. Okay....we'll let's begin. I do introduction pictionary. Now, I've done this with 37 students before. It took some time, we it was fun and we did it. This, however, was the longest event ever. I swear I think they got that if they stretched it out that's all we would do... I finally had to speed it up. Really, don't draw your life story....only draw one thing about yourself - we guess - you explain - you sit down. That's it. I had people seriously providing oral and pictorial histories of multi-generations. Kill me.

Passed out syllabus. Discussed syllabus. Gave them the activity to do in groups. They asked if they could do it at home. I said fine. They left. I went shopping. Retail therapy works wonders.

I'm selling my soul one class at a time....

Delete or not delete....

I thought about deleting this blog. I mean, it's served it's purpose, no? Just when I decided to let it go (and focus more on my other blog) I realized that I'll need this. I'm sorry that there will not be lots of updates, but I think for now I'll keep it. You never know...

So updates: I was offered an international job and we're leaving at the end of the year. It's an unexpected place. Let's just say it's not glamorous in any way, shape, or form. However, I'm bored and it will be a challenge. It's an administrative job, not teaching. And I'm actually quite happy with that result.

Dissertation is almost complete. I had some hang-ups over the summer that got me behind (one of them being the job; the other being a procrastinator). It will be finished soon regardless. I dropped off my chapters this week and I have a meeting with Dissertation Chair at the end of the month for suggested revisions. I'm burned out and want this over.

Thankfully, I do not have to teach at crazy school this semester. They needed to shuffle classes around and pulled my two courses. YEAH! Now I only have to teach three classes at the community college. I've taught two of them before and the other is an online class, which I like. Only one class will be a PITA. I'll have my hands full polishing up my dissertation and getting ready for the big move. So much to do!

So, I don't know what this blog will morph into, but for now, no delete...

I don't get it.

There's a big ta-do over a masters student that teeters on crazy/inappropriate/weird/ornery.  I HATED him when he was first accepted, but I've actually come to understand him a bit.  I don't agree, and we've had our outs, but I take him for who he is.  He has excellent writing skills - excellent. By far his papers are some of the best I've ever read.  So, instead of requiring an interview, he was accepted into the program on his application.  El-mistako.  He just doesn't fit into the program.  However, the powers that be let him in.  So now what?  He did get a C from a class last semester.  (Not because of the work, but because he wrote in an  essay that he didn't read the book...uh...see what I mean???)  Anyway, a C is grounds for a boot and paperwork had to be filed.  It's up to admin on decision.  They (and when I mean they, I mean she) decided to keep him in.  Numbers?  Hmmm, we were dwindling FAST... So, the decision to keep him.  Fast forward.  She wants me to give him another C so she can boot him.  However, he's doing well in my class, except for "the incident" which will cause his grade to go to a B.  I cannot justify a C.  Due to the "incident" she is having brought up before the chair of the dept and another guy in charge of the academics at the school for "disciplinary" actions.  Was he an idiot?  Yes.  Worth kicking out?  No, I don't think so.   I actually suggested to him to look into this other program at BIG university.  He has 4 classes left to graduate. He is our one student that works at BIG university part time and lives in a dorm.  If we kick him out, then what?  So I told Advisor what I did.  She was ticked with me, but then recommended the same action in the discipline write up!  Apparently the head of the other program called her and now she's back-tracking.  She sent me a VERY stern email not to talk to him at all about the upcoming disciplinary action (he doesn't know) or about looking for other programs, etc.  I am only to talk to him about the performance in my class.  Done.  The only time he brought it up to me was after their meeting last week.  He came to class VERY upset.  He kept apologizing to me thinking he was going to get me in trouble.  I assured him that my contract was up anyway, and no worries.  He's just an abrasive person by nature and I've come to understand him and the culture by which he works.  It's not my way, but I can see it.  I've had to tone him down a time or two before.   What's ironic is this is not he first person that she has asked me to give a C to.  She even said for me not to worry about a grade appeal.  I'm sorry.  I can't do it.  I do have a student that will get a C, maybe a second.  Even with this incident, his grade goes down 10 points.  Brings to a B-.  I just have a problem with not dealing with people professionally.  THIS IS AN EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM.  We need to educate students on appropriate behaviors.  I feel if we let them in, we should help remediate them.  Was he inappropriate?  Yes.  However, what have WE done to fix this earlier?  Ironically, she gave him an A in her course last semester.  I just don't understand letting people slide and then all of a sudden have issues.  They knew he was a problem the FIRST semester.  (Which is why he ended up being sent to me to deal with his schedules b/c he was a PITA.)  This happened in my class and yet I have no say about the discipline.  I left the assignment fairly wide open.  Maybe it's my fault there was not enough guidance.  I feel like in many ways I let him down.  I should have tried to reign him in more.  I'm just very frustrated by the turn of events....I tried to find a way to deal with him where our program won't suffer and he just didn't waste god knows how much money not to finish.  I get told that I shouldn't say something, then it's a good idea, then it's a bad idea.  Advisor told the person from the other program today that he's being brought up on discipline committee.  She's not going to accept him as a transfer now.  I feel like is some way I need to advocate that he not get kicked out.  On the other hand, he'll have her for an instructor in a couple more classes.  That won't go well either. Frustrating.

I think Advisor is overly distraught with her job being cut from 12 month to 9 month contract.  I actually think it will be good for our program to have adjuncts come in.  She won't even talk to me about it.  She's really trying to keep me out of the loop lately.  Frankly, we started off so well, but now I just want to finish my contract....two weeks, baby.  There was some discussion about me teaching one or both of the classes this summer, but then she brought up my grant and said I couldn't do both, etc.  Actually, I could have - another student is....whatever.  I told my students last night and they WERE PISSED.  There was quite an uproar and I was bombarded with questions.  I didn't know the answers to most and we moved on.  They were set for a hybrid course and now it's not.  Not happy campers. They were begging me to teach it.  I said that's not how it works....

On to other news.  Two more letters that jobs have been pulled due to funding.  I got rid of my tax acctng adjunct job for the summer.  yeah!  I did not want it but felt guilty.  Talked another instructor into taking it.  

I guess from all of this stuff lately I've learned a lot about myself.  My advisor is EXCELLENT at teaching.  I am okay.  What I am good at though is relating to my students.  I really care about them. I really do.  I go out of my way to see their point of view and, although I may want to shoot them a time or two, I make sure to focus on the bigger picture.  Education, advancement, opportunity to learn.  My advisor is more about looking good and putting on a front. I love the idea of tenure track - spending time in research and talking to fellow academics.  She keeps to herself.  I found it to be odd that she hosted (by my recommendation) a university-wide meeting.  She had a panel of herself, a recent PhD grad, and a tenured professor from our school who wrote two books recently.  I felt pain for her. She tried to fit in the scenario and it just didn't work.  Academics aren't about looks.  She came in with her fancy suit.  Ug.  The full professor talked about her research, the doc student about her study, then my advisor about her dissertation from 10 years ago.  It was sad and I felt bad for her.  Since I've been at the university I've pulled together lit reviews that she's wanted.  Various "I want to do an article on..."  It's never happened.  I know she's busy.  I know running the program is hard.  However, I just think she's put her efforts into non-priority things.  And now it's coming out.  After so many years, they want to see what you've done.  I don't know.  I feel bad.  I've learned a lot about what it takes in higher ed.  I want it.  I think I'd be good at it.  Frankly, I've learned that sometimes your teaching does have to suffer to balance publishing.  Even if you are just collateral faculty.   It's funny that the biggest complaint I've heard is that she's TOO over the top in teaching.  So much effort goes into it, that students just want a reprieve on occasion.  I don't know.  It's interesting that as my stock goes up with tenured, full professors, my stock with her goes down.  She talks to me less and less and keeps me at a arms distance.  Yet, I've been asked to help with a book chapter.  And, I had to leave early from her panel discussion and so did a head chick from IRB - she said she's heard good things about my dissertation and wants me to send it to this top guy in the field when it's done.  Hummffp.  I wish I could share with her these things.  She was my mentor!  I guess I've outgrown her and now it's just uncomfortable for both of us.  

Okay...long post.  I have issues.  Back to grading papers....on my hammock....ah............hello spring!!

funk, funk, and more funk

I feel like a failure this semester with my masters students.  Did I not teach them or are they thick-headed?  Students from our program are okay... some are better than others.  But the other students aren't getting it.  Frustrating.  Really frustrating.  

I rec'd an email that I've made it past the preliminary rounds for a position in MN.  Great job, but MN?  Really?  Um, cold, very cold.  At this point though, I'm ready for a change.  Hubby is up for the move.  We'll just be poor, cold, and well, poor and cold.  Nothing brings a family together like being poor and cold, right?

There's a job here with Big University that I applied for a month or so ago.  It's fairly low level - not tenured.  It's sort of an instructor position. I'm completely over-qualified, but I think I would actually like it (at least for a while).  I had a friend of a friend inquire and apparently they have a TON of applications.  I've emailed the head person and never got a response.  I know they have my app b/c I got the postcard.  I at least want my cv to be seen!  rrrggghhh.

I finished writing a grant this weekend. I should be working on my dissertation, but I guess a grant would be nice to add to my cv (even if it is itty-bitty).  

Seriously?

I just got a call from another mom regarding another mother's kid, stating that my kid was talking crap about her kid to another kid. You've got to be kidding me. It turns out that this is the same kid that back five months ago got my kid kicked out of a bus seat so that she could sit next to her little boyfriend. My kid came crying off the bus that this girl lied to the bus driver and got her in trouble. I'm not saying that my kid is an angel - far from it. But she gets pushed around fairly easily and gets made fun of. So, yeah, my kid probably was giving your kid dirty looks and talking trash. However, your kid isn't golden child either. Apparently the other mother is friends with this chick that has my phone number and they go to the same gym. The other mother wants to call me and tell me what I piss poor parent I am. The other mother intervened. She's a bit flaky too. (She called me the other morning -after I came back from taking my kids to school- to take her kids to school (now late) because she couldn't find either set of car keys.) Whatever. At this point, I'm used to whack-a-dos. So, anyway, the mom told me she was going to give my phone number to the other mom and warned me that she's Puerto-Rican and "feisty" and she's really pissed off at me because of my kid treating her kid so mean. Uh, okay... And she told me that she was supposed to talk to me about my kid over a week ago and to lie to the other mom if she asked why I didn't respond back sooner. Oh, yes....lie because other mom was supposed to do her dirty work already. I'm supposed to say she did talk to me and this was the second time. Yeah, so now I'm supposed to go back to my kid and ask about some stink eye she gave this other girl over a week ago. They ride the same bus --- I'm pretty sure the stink eye is exchanged every day. OMG this is too much drama for elementary school. I swear I'm not answering my phone. Gee, and no wonder my kids want me to drive them everyday to and from school. As it is, they only ride the bus home...perhaps I'll start picking them up.

boo-hoo, whine whine,

I didn't get a campus invite.  I have no idea if I was even in the ball park for that university.  It was flattering to get a phone interview, but sucks to not get to the next step.  I know my stuff and if they have any applicants like we flew in last year, they'll suck.  Anyway, moving on.  There's an asst dean's job at crazy school that just opened.  I just don't think I could do it.  I may kill someone considering there is only one other Ph.D. on staff and he got his degree through generic online school (oh, you know the one....).  Yes, all the deans just hold masters, and some of those are from crazy online schools.  I may hold out and con't to pimp adjunct.  I did find two other jobs to apply for, but they're not tenure track at a university.  Both are admin jobs at CCs.  Hmmm...... maybe someone is trying to tell me something??  Whatever, I believe in fate....must be patient.  That's SOOOOO not my personal trait.

MIA student at crazy school wanted to meet with me today before class.  No show.  Gee, I'm not surprised.  She turned in all the work for the first half of the course in my mail box (what part of 5 pts a day off for being late do you not get????).  Most of it is worth nothing.  Perhaps if she actually came to a class.....hmmm, that may just be too much for her!  

Spring break is next week for one school and the week after for another.  Gee, I wish we could have coordinated schedules so I could have gotten a break!  Oh-well.  So is the life of the adjunct whore.  Perhaps I need to change the title of this blog????