Kill me now...

Class project/paper. 5-7 pages. Had all semester to work on it. Reminded them. Let them out early to work on it.....

This student text messaged me to tell me she wasn't coming to class because she was sick. Also wanted to know how late she could email it to me and it still be "on time". Uh, that would be the minute class starts, like those turning in their papers! Late papers are 25% off first day, 50% second day, not accepted after that ---She sent hers at 11:44 at night. Sorry, 25% off.... Anyway here is her email...

Professor G, I fell asleep waiting for your text. It's the medication. I am attaching my homework problems and sending them to you but, I am not a great typists so my paper is taking a while. I will submit it tonite. I really haven't been focusing cause of my sickness. I have had to extend all of my assignments with my other instructors. One class I am averaging a D in so I really need this grade. Please bare with me. I have bronchitis on top of everything that I have been going through not to mention I am menustated for the second time in two weeks. One of my children are falling behind in his studies as well. I'm not having the best of luck.

*Another student, one currently getting an A in the class, completely forgot about the project and emailed me the night before and asked what grade she would get if she just didn't do it. Considering it's a test grade, that would mean a D. She came to class & turned nothing in then emailed me three pages of something around 11 pm. 25% off whatever grade those three pages would get you....

*Another student emailed his to me in an email. No, not as an attachement, an email.

Just when I think I've got it going on. Are you kidding me??

On other news, I got a call from another "school" asking me to adjunct. They want me to come in and do a 10-15 minute teaching demo. I was pretty much told that they are not a "diploma mill", but they strongly encourage their instructors to consider multiple ways to assess students to ensure strong passing grades. Also stated that, for example, you may only actually cover 4 chapters in Acct 1 and that would be just fine. Goodie. Let me see what I can come up with for my demo. How would I teach accounting to fourth graders? hmmm......

I think I'm selling my soul.