I don't get it.

There's a big ta-do over a masters student that teeters on crazy/inappropriate/weird/ornery.  I HATED him when he was first accepted, but I've actually come to understand him a bit.  I don't agree, and we've had our outs, but I take him for who he is.  He has excellent writing skills - excellent. By far his papers are some of the best I've ever read.  So, instead of requiring an interview, he was accepted into the program on his application.  El-mistako.  He just doesn't fit into the program.  However, the powers that be let him in.  So now what?  He did get a C from a class last semester.  (Not because of the work, but because he wrote in an  essay that he didn't read the book...uh...see what I mean???)  Anyway, a C is grounds for a boot and paperwork had to be filed.  It's up to admin on decision.  They (and when I mean they, I mean she) decided to keep him in.  Numbers?  Hmmm, we were dwindling FAST... So, the decision to keep him.  Fast forward.  She wants me to give him another C so she can boot him.  However, he's doing well in my class, except for "the incident" which will cause his grade to go to a B.  I cannot justify a C.  Due to the "incident" she is having brought up before the chair of the dept and another guy in charge of the academics at the school for "disciplinary" actions.  Was he an idiot?  Yes.  Worth kicking out?  No, I don't think so.   I actually suggested to him to look into this other program at BIG university.  He has 4 classes left to graduate. He is our one student that works at BIG university part time and lives in a dorm.  If we kick him out, then what?  So I told Advisor what I did.  She was ticked with me, but then recommended the same action in the discipline write up!  Apparently the head of the other program called her and now she's back-tracking.  She sent me a VERY stern email not to talk to him at all about the upcoming disciplinary action (he doesn't know) or about looking for other programs, etc.  I am only to talk to him about the performance in my class.  Done.  The only time he brought it up to me was after their meeting last week.  He came to class VERY upset.  He kept apologizing to me thinking he was going to get me in trouble.  I assured him that my contract was up anyway, and no worries.  He's just an abrasive person by nature and I've come to understand him and the culture by which he works.  It's not my way, but I can see it.  I've had to tone him down a time or two before.   What's ironic is this is not he first person that she has asked me to give a C to.  She even said for me not to worry about a grade appeal.  I'm sorry.  I can't do it.  I do have a student that will get a C, maybe a second.  Even with this incident, his grade goes down 10 points.  Brings to a B-.  I just have a problem with not dealing with people professionally.  THIS IS AN EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM.  We need to educate students on appropriate behaviors.  I feel if we let them in, we should help remediate them.  Was he inappropriate?  Yes.  However, what have WE done to fix this earlier?  Ironically, she gave him an A in her course last semester.  I just don't understand letting people slide and then all of a sudden have issues.  They knew he was a problem the FIRST semester.  (Which is why he ended up being sent to me to deal with his schedules b/c he was a PITA.)  This happened in my class and yet I have no say about the discipline.  I left the assignment fairly wide open.  Maybe it's my fault there was not enough guidance.  I feel like in many ways I let him down.  I should have tried to reign him in more.  I'm just very frustrated by the turn of events....I tried to find a way to deal with him where our program won't suffer and he just didn't waste god knows how much money not to finish.  I get told that I shouldn't say something, then it's a good idea, then it's a bad idea.  Advisor told the person from the other program today that he's being brought up on discipline committee.  She's not going to accept him as a transfer now.  I feel like is some way I need to advocate that he not get kicked out.  On the other hand, he'll have her for an instructor in a couple more classes.  That won't go well either. Frustrating.

I think Advisor is overly distraught with her job being cut from 12 month to 9 month contract.  I actually think it will be good for our program to have adjuncts come in.  She won't even talk to me about it.  She's really trying to keep me out of the loop lately.  Frankly, we started off so well, but now I just want to finish my contract....two weeks, baby.  There was some discussion about me teaching one or both of the classes this summer, but then she brought up my grant and said I couldn't do both, etc.  Actually, I could have - another student is....whatever.  I told my students last night and they WERE PISSED.  There was quite an uproar and I was bombarded with questions.  I didn't know the answers to most and we moved on.  They were set for a hybrid course and now it's not.  Not happy campers. They were begging me to teach it.  I said that's not how it works....

On to other news.  Two more letters that jobs have been pulled due to funding.  I got rid of my tax acctng adjunct job for the summer.  yeah!  I did not want it but felt guilty.  Talked another instructor into taking it.  

I guess from all of this stuff lately I've learned a lot about myself.  My advisor is EXCELLENT at teaching.  I am okay.  What I am good at though is relating to my students.  I really care about them. I really do.  I go out of my way to see their point of view and, although I may want to shoot them a time or two, I make sure to focus on the bigger picture.  Education, advancement, opportunity to learn.  My advisor is more about looking good and putting on a front. I love the idea of tenure track - spending time in research and talking to fellow academics.  She keeps to herself.  I found it to be odd that she hosted (by my recommendation) a university-wide meeting.  She had a panel of herself, a recent PhD grad, and a tenured professor from our school who wrote two books recently.  I felt pain for her. She tried to fit in the scenario and it just didn't work.  Academics aren't about looks.  She came in with her fancy suit.  Ug.  The full professor talked about her research, the doc student about her study, then my advisor about her dissertation from 10 years ago.  It was sad and I felt bad for her.  Since I've been at the university I've pulled together lit reviews that she's wanted.  Various "I want to do an article on..."  It's never happened.  I know she's busy.  I know running the program is hard.  However, I just think she's put her efforts into non-priority things.  And now it's coming out.  After so many years, they want to see what you've done.  I don't know.  I feel bad.  I've learned a lot about what it takes in higher ed.  I want it.  I think I'd be good at it.  Frankly, I've learned that sometimes your teaching does have to suffer to balance publishing.  Even if you are just collateral faculty.   It's funny that the biggest complaint I've heard is that she's TOO over the top in teaching.  So much effort goes into it, that students just want a reprieve on occasion.  I don't know.  It's interesting that as my stock goes up with tenured, full professors, my stock with her goes down.  She talks to me less and less and keeps me at a arms distance.  Yet, I've been asked to help with a book chapter.  And, I had to leave early from her panel discussion and so did a head chick from IRB - she said she's heard good things about my dissertation and wants me to send it to this top guy in the field when it's done.  Hummffp.  I wish I could share with her these things.  She was my mentor!  I guess I've outgrown her and now it's just uncomfortable for both of us.  

Okay...long post.  I have issues.  Back to grading papers....on my hammock....ah............hello spring!!