dissin' my advisor

I'm dreading going into the office today.  I need to tell my advisor that she's not going to be the chair of my dissertation.  I'm assuming that she's assuming (yeah, I know the saying) that she'll be it.  She's collateral, so she's never really had the chance.  Right now she's "co-chairing" one with the head of our dept since it's her first one, okay partial one.  She's been on quite a few committees, but not the same.  

I need to move this process along. I quit my job to return to school!  I have a family!  I have (want) a life.  She just doesn't get it.  I like her and all, but we're two different worlds.  She lives in a 4,000 sq foot house with her husband and dogs.  Never had kids.  It's just hard to relate to my world of Wal-mart, a house that needs vacuuming, and chaos.  She'll slow me down.  She's a perfectionist in her way of doing things, which is not always mine. 

The head of my dept was quite happy to be my chair and I asked him politically how that will work out.  He told me not to worry about politics and just tell her.  Easier said than done.  

Oh, and I have a gift for her.  I know, tacky.  But she was really giving me a hard time lately (aka, did I steal her research idea?) and my mom said that maybe she was jealous.  I should suck up and tell her how awesome she is.  Normally I don't stoop to these sorts of things, but I need my last year to go well.  I bought a gift.  Small, nothing fancy.  I just haven't been able to get it to her.  Now it seems tacky to give her the gift and tell her she's not the chair.  Ug.  Can't win.