Student issues

First job with this school as adjunct.  Don't know the ropes yet.  Hybrid course...jump in with both feet.

Emailed students that did not do their first homework assignment (post an intro about themselves on Bb and do a non-graded practice quiz).  A few did it, a few didn't.  I called...trying to set up a successful class here.... I got one nice person that is having financial aid issues and may drop, two with voicemails, and one CANDY.  

I tell her she didn't respond to my email, her homework is past due and she needs to take real quiz soon.  I told her since this is the first assignment, I would extend it another two days, but she needed to do it asap.  She didn't understand the instructions.  Explained said instructions.  Explained instructions again. She "thinks" she got it.  She calls me back.  I explain said instructions again.  She lost syllabus.  I tell her to print another.  Her printer doesn't work.  We hang up. She calls me back (locked out of quiz, which is what I told her NOT to do).  She explains to me she's ADD and can't read the book.  I ask her if she's gone to the disabilities office so I can make accommodations.  She says she knows nothing about it.  I asked her if she remembers me going over this in class the first night?  If anyone has a disability, please go to the disability office so that I can make accommodations for you.  I take this seriously and I want you to be successful...  Anyway, I give her contact information over the phone, I email her their information, I tell her where to find it on the syllabus.  I then email her advisor.

She called me today to find out what's going to be on the test tomorrow -- "like definitions and stuff".  

Um, no Candy, like, you have to apply the definitions and solve real problems, which is why I'm letting you come in with a calculator and a 4x6 notecard of formulas.  

There are formulas?  What's going to be on the test?  

Candy, as stated in the syllabus and on my weekly announcement, the test is based straight from the quiz.  

What quiz?

The quiz that is due at midnight tonight. 

Tonight?

Yes, Candy, tonight.

Oh, so I guess I need to do that, huh?

Candy?

Ah, yeah...

Did you go see the disability office yet?  I sent you that email and they're expecting you.  

They are?

Yes, Candy.  Until you go see them, I cannot make any accommodations for you.  

Okay, I'm going to take my quiz.  I'll call you later, k?

K!

I'm now in virtual office hours.  Checked grades.  Candy did it!  She took the quiz.  45%, but at least it's done.  I'm waiting for a phone call.  

On the flip side, I called again one of the students that have never responded to any emails or my phone message.  I leave a message with a nice young lady about how there is a test tomorrow and I'm concerned, ya-da.  Turns out he's at class right now and that was his momma.  She said he'd call.  Ooops.  Haven't figured out this whole community college gig yet.