boo-hoo, whine whine,

I didn't get a campus invite.  I have no idea if I was even in the ball park for that university.  It was flattering to get a phone interview, but sucks to not get to the next step.  I know my stuff and if they have any applicants like we flew in last year, they'll suck.  Anyway, moving on.  There's an asst dean's job at crazy school that just opened.  I just don't think I could do it.  I may kill someone considering there is only one other Ph.D. on staff and he got his degree through generic online school (oh, you know the one....).  Yes, all the deans just hold masters, and some of those are from crazy online schools.  I may hold out and con't to pimp adjunct.  I did find two other jobs to apply for, but they're not tenure track at a university.  Both are admin jobs at CCs.  Hmmm...... maybe someone is trying to tell me something??  Whatever, I believe in fate....must be patient.  That's SOOOOO not my personal trait.

MIA student at crazy school wanted to meet with me today before class.  No show.  Gee, I'm not surprised.  She turned in all the work for the first half of the course in my mail box (what part of 5 pts a day off for being late do you not get????).  Most of it is worth nothing.  Perhaps if she actually came to a class.....hmmm, that may just be too much for her!  

Spring break is next week for one school and the week after for another.  Gee, I wish we could have coordinated schedules so I could have gotten a break!  Oh-well.  So is the life of the adjunct whore.  Perhaps I need to change the title of this blog????  

midterm grades are posted

16 F's out of 28 students. Only 4 of them have any hope of bringing themselves out. Uh, hard to pass when you've only been to class twice and NEVER turned in a single homework. One of the faculty members today said that if they're borderline (I was afraid to ask the definition of borderline), to pass them and save myself the paperwork. Oh, yes, there's paperwork for giving an F grade. One student got really snippy with an email to me. She said she's been busy and SHE TOLD me she was going to be out. Yes, one day, not FOUR! And?? That's why I gave you the work AHEAD of time TO DO - for the ONE day she was to be out... To put in my box BEFORE class. I still have NOTHING from her and she's pissy with me because she is getting an F???? Uh, sister, get with the program.

I sent a full email to the higher up peeps at the school and was like, look, I'm a new adjunct and may not know the rules, but WTF??? What is funny is that they've already asked me to come teach again....a class I wasn't sure I could fully teach...never took a specific class in this particular area. The guy was like, oh, you'll be fine.... yeah, probably because I only have to teach two chapters in a semester. I said I'd THINK about it. Oh please other job, call me... I cannot continue as an adjunct whore!

ARRGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"If u have the book sense you can apply it to everyday life in tern will help you succeed all across board."

Oh, Lord, please help me. Grant me the patience to grade these papers. Please let me find a job where college is not a place to get free student loan money and there is actually a minimum requirement to enroll.

Another student wrote their midterm paper with bullet points. WTF?

Tonight's slackers....

One family surgery, one mom with a stroke (okay, I do think this one is real and I feel bad), one flat tire, one flu, one ran out of gas, one family emergency, one family not being supportive of me returning to school, and two with no emails, calls, or text messages..... No I am NOT joking.   Oh, please, oh, please, let me go back to teaching master's students.  They are so much more creative with excuses.....

Email from student

I am unable to attend tonights class due to a virus going through my home. It included headache, high fever, and bady ache. I don't want to take any chances of this spreding to anyone else. I had mad share of cleaning up throwup. Please send me any study material that is needed for the next class.

Oh, those undergrads...

Class is 7 pm and I have two students that have contacted me about their papers due tonight.  They know they get one free rewrite, so I told them both they can just turn in the final, but the grade they get is the grade they get.  However, I do grade pretty tough on the papers and I told them that already.  It's a senior level class and I can't stand papers written like it's a blog (ha!) or a text message.  I want a real research paper, APA citations, etc.  I don't think it's too much to ask.  I can't wait to see what gets tuned in (or not...)

Student issues

First job with this school as adjunct.  Don't know the ropes yet.  Hybrid course...jump in with both feet.

Emailed students that did not do their first homework assignment (post an intro about themselves on Bb and do a non-graded practice quiz).  A few did it, a few didn't.  I called...trying to set up a successful class here.... I got one nice person that is having financial aid issues and may drop, two with voicemails, and one CANDY.  

I tell her she didn't respond to my email, her homework is past due and she needs to take real quiz soon.  I told her since this is the first assignment, I would extend it another two days, but she needed to do it asap.  She didn't understand the instructions.  Explained said instructions.  Explained instructions again. She "thinks" she got it.  She calls me back.  I explain said instructions again.  She lost syllabus.  I tell her to print another.  Her printer doesn't work.  We hang up. She calls me back (locked out of quiz, which is what I told her NOT to do).  She explains to me she's ADD and can't read the book.  I ask her if she's gone to the disabilities office so I can make accommodations.  She says she knows nothing about it.  I asked her if she remembers me going over this in class the first night?  If anyone has a disability, please go to the disability office so that I can make accommodations for you.  I take this seriously and I want you to be successful...  Anyway, I give her contact information over the phone, I email her their information, I tell her where to find it on the syllabus.  I then email her advisor.

She called me today to find out what's going to be on the test tomorrow -- "like definitions and stuff".  

Um, no Candy, like, you have to apply the definitions and solve real problems, which is why I'm letting you come in with a calculator and a 4x6 notecard of formulas.  

There are formulas?  What's going to be on the test?  

Candy, as stated in the syllabus and on my weekly announcement, the test is based straight from the quiz.  

What quiz?

The quiz that is due at midnight tonight. 

Tonight?

Yes, Candy, tonight.

Oh, so I guess I need to do that, huh?

Candy?

Ah, yeah...

Did you go see the disability office yet?  I sent you that email and they're expecting you.  

They are?

Yes, Candy.  Until you go see them, I cannot make any accommodations for you.  

Okay, I'm going to take my quiz.  I'll call you later, k?

K!

I'm now in virtual office hours.  Checked grades.  Candy did it!  She took the quiz.  45%, but at least it's done.  I'm waiting for a phone call.  

On the flip side, I called again one of the students that have never responded to any emails or my phone message.  I leave a message with a nice young lady about how there is a test tomorrow and I'm concerned, ya-da.  Turns out he's at class right now and that was his momma.  She said he'd call.  Ooops.  Haven't figured out this whole community college gig yet.