OMFG!

Maybe I didn't need this blog after all. Students aren't SO bad...

Then I picked up additional adjunct positions at a private "college" (using quotation marks loosely). I'm teaching two classes - first year accounting & a freshman seminar. To get to know my acct students and understand their abilities, I gave them a little ungraded quiz on the first night. Three out of nine students defined liability as "insurance". And one answer to define asset was "big butt". Only one student got the 5 math problems correct (as in $15,000= x + $12,000 and 6% of $642 =___). One student didn't know how to use a calculator. Yes, I even handed out a 4 function calcuators to the group. They can text message, but don't know how to use my 4th grader's calculator..... Luckily I was told I only needed to teach 4 chapters in 15 weeks. That does not include the chapter on LIFO, FIFO, and averages. I decided to be adventurous and add that in. Second guessing that decision now.

Then there is the seminar class. I have three that are pregnant (out of the 21 students that actually showed up; out of that 6 are men). One is due in four weeks. Only one has a baby daddy. Four that showed up just registered and weren't on my roster. I have 11 other students that just didn't show up.

On the flip side, I'm teaching a masters level class again and it's awesome. I only have one whack student that got up in the middle of class to go move her car.

Kill me now...

Class project/paper. 5-7 pages. Had all semester to work on it. Reminded them. Let them out early to work on it.....

This student text messaged me to tell me she wasn't coming to class because she was sick. Also wanted to know how late she could email it to me and it still be "on time". Uh, that would be the minute class starts, like those turning in their papers! Late papers are 25% off first day, 50% second day, not accepted after that ---She sent hers at 11:44 at night. Sorry, 25% off.... Anyway here is her email...

Professor G, I fell asleep waiting for your text. It's the medication. I am attaching my homework problems and sending them to you but, I am not a great typists so my paper is taking a while. I will submit it tonite. I really haven't been focusing cause of my sickness. I have had to extend all of my assignments with my other instructors. One class I am averaging a D in so I really need this grade. Please bare with me. I have bronchitis on top of everything that I have been going through not to mention I am menustated for the second time in two weeks. One of my children are falling behind in his studies as well. I'm not having the best of luck.

*Another student, one currently getting an A in the class, completely forgot about the project and emailed me the night before and asked what grade she would get if she just didn't do it. Considering it's a test grade, that would mean a D. She came to class & turned nothing in then emailed me three pages of something around 11 pm. 25% off whatever grade those three pages would get you....

*Another student emailed his to me in an email. No, not as an attachement, an email.

Just when I think I've got it going on. Are you kidding me??

On other news, I got a call from another "school" asking me to adjunct. They want me to come in and do a 10-15 minute teaching demo. I was pretty much told that they are not a "diploma mill", but they strongly encourage their instructors to consider multiple ways to assess students to ensure strong passing grades. Also stated that, for example, you may only actually cover 4 chapters in Acct 1 and that would be just fine. Goodie. Let me see what I can come up with for my demo. How would I teach accounting to fourth graders? hmmm......

I think I'm selling my soul.

Alternate universe

Today is one of those days I wonder about my parallel universe. Is there such a place where I live alone in a small apartment over a cafe? I read books and study in the quiet of my world? I have no children. Maybe a spouse, but one that shares by passion for school and outside dining?

On days like today I wonder how I ended up here? Is this the white-trash life that tried to break free? Some parts of me made it while others didn't?

I often think about my parallel life. I wonder if I'd wish I had a family and the suburban home. Do I just think this way because of the "grass is always greener" or am I really in a life that I was too stupid to know would be my second choice. If I had only known at 20 there was a different choice....

Have you ever watched Bridges of Madison County? Yeah, noble she stayed, but didn't you want Franchesca to run away with Robert? Run, run...that's your real life awaiting..... but no, we moms do what's right, even at our own expense. We wipe asses, we check homework, we give praises to our husbands to boost their ego. It's just exhausting.

I think society tells us what we should do --- live in suburbia and raise kids. I see my friend who wasn't able to have kids and she tells me how "lucky" I am. I see how lucky she is.... how ironic is that?

Is it wrong to count the days until my kids go to college? Does that make me a horrible mother? I have my one kid's teacher telling me how the grow up so fast and enjoy this time. How exactly am I supposed to do that??? Perhaps I'm selfish. I don't even care.

Some days are better than others. Today I can barely look at my husband. After 13 years of marriage, I think it's purgatory. I just want to be left alone. I just close my eyes and think of my alternate universe....I'm sitting on a patio outside of my studio apartment, writing, working on research. It's too bad that 10 years ago my universe revolved around babies and the "perfect" American family. I'm such a dumb ass. So naive.

I want to cry. I want to yank out my hair. Instead, I will suck it up and pretend everything is grand. I guess it truly does suck b/c my husband is supportive of what I do, my kids are good kids. I need to stop being so greedy. However, on days like today I can't help but scream inside. WTF???